Null re-enters with a rescue plan.

As WBAI slowly slithered across its largely pre-empted schedule of largely third-grade programs, the gloom only got gloomier. Hawking the same old packs of lies and venom, the phones in the contracted answering center on Long Island seemed as quiescent as an acned teenager's bargain Nokia. 

Still, dribs and drabs trickled in to be promptly removed from credit cards of gullible victims, but it was clear that not even a small dent was being made in the mounting debt. Even manager Berthold Reimers, never one to foresee disaster, could predict that this fund drive was destined to set another record for failure, but he had issued an order that Gary Null was not to be allowed participation. This in spite of the fact that Mr. Null has a long history of fundraising success. 

The two had been at it again in their long-standing off and on relationship. Null had put on hold another lawsuit against the WBAI/Pacifica mob, one that—among other infringements—rightly accused Reimers and some of his cronies of illegally duplicating copyrighted disks. This could potentially end what is left of the station's life, but not as quickly as an empty piggybank. The WBAI oinker is starving at this point—the station's water cooler is dry, there are no paper towels in the bathroom and the studio phone lines have been dead for a couple of months, which severely affects several live shows. Then, too, a small fortune in rent money is owed, the postage machine is empty and salaries are seriously in arrears.

We hear that morale at the station has reached an all-time low; Berthold Reimers, ever the victim of his own ineptitude and lies, is rarely seen, and some hosts report hearing a pack of hungry wolves clawing at the door to 388 Atlantic Avenue. Barely had this latest drive begun when reality—sensed by everybody else for at least a year— finally hit the Haitian wannabe, so he took a mouthful of crow, picked up his phone, and called Gary Null.

It is still not clear why Mr. Null wants to continue his association with WBAI, but he responded positively to Reimers' SOS and quickly proposed a bizarre solution. Bizarre, because, like so many other things Null suggests, the plan appears to counter reality, suggesting an imagination that rivals the fantasies of Reimers. 

Yesterday—Sunday, July 24—they shoved aside "professor" Ron Daniels and his reparations scam as Null, who is on the road, called a laptop in WBAI's make-believe studio and, with resident dunce Haskins grunting in the background, explained his plan for the rescue of WBAI. 

Essentially, he will attempt to sell 20-25 weeklong stays at his retreat for $2,500 per person. Five hundred of that will go to WBAI and, he believes, completely clear up the backlog of "thank you gifts," which go back a couple of years. I believe his place is in Florida, so takers will presumably have to pay their own way to get there and back, but they will be picked up at the airport.

Andrea Katz, the runway runaway, will coordinate things on WBAI's end and, Null hopes, make public the number of gifts sold. It gets a bit complicated, but here is Null's entire plan in his own words. As I cannot in good conscience support any attempt to bail out, rather than dump Berthold Reimers, I removed the phone number, so be forewarned that it is lengthy.